We are now two months in and if anyone is reading this has gone through the adoption process they are probably saying, "hold tight, there's a lot more waiting to go". I would be lying if I didn't think we were going to be one of those miracle stories that got placed in a few weeks or a month after going active. The reality is starting to set in that the rose-colored glasses I was wearing are starting to clear. Speaking with our adoption counselor this week we found out that they do 8-10 placements a year, a statistic we did not gather in our naivete at the beginning of the process. There average 18-month wait makes more sense now know this as they keep about 20 people in their pool at any given time. Looking through their annual reports though, the place between 30 and 40 babies a year, which explains why our counselor is very knowledgable about transitioning to their designated adoption program. I am still very happy we chose the agency we did and feel strongly that God pointed us to them for the right reasons. I will say though it does not change the fact that the positivity and hope are getting harder to hold onto.
So what does this mean next? I figure we have two options. One, trudge along as is and let the agency do all the work. Two, we actively market ourselves and be much more aggressive in finding our own birth mother. I know the choice I have made and the choice I am trying to get my wife on board with. We have since paid and listed ourselves with one matching service and I am constantly looking for other services that are are lower cost and ethical to do the same. It still amazes me how much of an "Industry" adoption is, there are always people able and willing to take your money. The goal on this end is to help sort through the good and the bad to find the ones that focus on the expectant mothers as much as they care about the expectant adoptive parents.
In the end, I trust in God to help guide us through this. One of the best gifts given to us through faith is discernment. God will help guide me if I am willing to open my ears to listen. God will build my family to something more beautiful than I can imagine.